I fly a lot. Different airlines, different departures and arrivals, business and leisure, domestic and international. I’m also a nurse, and have been for over 17 years. Neither of these things prepared me for the grossest thing that ever happened to me, on an Air Canada flight from Vancouver to Austin.
TRIGGER WARNING: WILL GROSS YOU OUT
The Husband and I took a trip to Vancouver (with a side trip to Whistler) for a family wedding. Since you can’t get a nonstop from TPA to Vancouver, we stayed for a night with Chicago with my mother- and sister-in-law before we all flew together to Vancouver, and a night in Austin on the way home.
We flew Air Canada both ways, and because I’ve been over-stressed and working my ass off, I treated us to first class both ways. The flight there was great and uneventful. However, the flight to Austin was where the grossest thing ever happened.
Imagine you are two hours into a four hour flight, a flight that departed at 8 am after attending a wedding reception party. You just woke up from a little nap in your comfy row one first class seat, ordered a mimosa, and reclined back just a bit so you could read your eBook.
All of a sudden, this girl runs up from coach, pushing through the curtain, and a moment later we are covered in a brown liquid.
At first, we all thought a soda bottle had exploded. Then we realized the entire first row walls, ceiling, overheard compartment, flight attendant, beverage cart, TV, seats, and ME AND THE HUSBAND were covered with vomit. Yes, this 20 something year old girl projectile vomited all over us and the plane, like a geyser from her mouth, against her hand, and 360 degrees around her.
It was dripping from everywhere, including The Husband’s head. His shirt was ruined, along with basically everything else around us. Luckily he had an extra shirt in his carry on and could change and throw out that shirt. I was not as lucky and head to wear my clothes until we got to the hotel in Austin, where I promptly threw them out. The Uber driver was kind enough to let us in his car, despite being able to smell the vomit.
Now, I get being sick. I get being drunk. But somehow this girl was either able to get drunk quickly on an 8 am flight or was drunk before she boarded, as her family confirmed that she was not infectious, but just drunk. She also managed to come up from coach and vomit all over first class, where I paid way too much to end up wearing a stranger’s body fluids.
The flight attendant, bless his vomit-covered heart, said he submitted a report after he cleaned her puke out of his hair, and we should hear something in about three days. That was three weeks ago. I submitted a customer service request via their website. I sent multiple messages to the Air Canada twitter with zero response. So Air Canada’s customer service rates right up there with American Airlines- if they aren’t taking you money, they don’t care.
I’m really disappointed, because I love Canada (I’ve been to every province) and tell so many people to choose Canada as their vacation destination. But after the Vomit Geyser of 2022, I can honestly say I won’t fly Air Canada again. Their lack of response is extremely disappointing, especially considering the polite stereotype that belongs to Canada. Air Canada, if you read this, please do better.